Hitchhiking in Turkey. A truck driver stops. It turns out he speaks Italian. He used to sell kebabs somewhere in Italy. We are going slowly, speaking about life. At one point he says this one sentence: Oggi viviamo, domani chi sa – Today we live, tomorrow who knows. Long silence.
Italy, few months later. Last days, soon we are gonna hit the road again. It has been two intensive months, full of workshops, meetings, writing stories. And every day more intensive thoughts – today we live, tomorrow…?
Contrary to what some people believe, I think a lot about future. About death. About illness. Disability. But above all about death. Three important people in my life died suddenly. Dżemer, in a car accident. It was the 1st of April, April fool, at first it seemed a very stupid joke. Paula, my classmate, the one I shared my desk with. She loved parachuting. One day the plane crushed. And Piotr. He was like my older brother, sometimes like a father. He died before I told him that.
I think about death also at a different scale. Speaking with changemakers means also dealing with problems. Noticing them. Travelling to places where hunger, lack of shelter, no access to education, natural disasters or conflicts are daily things. Looking at the shape of our planet, I don’t think we have much time. And peace seems to be a very fragile concept.
At times fear of death paralyzed me. But more and more often it allows me to live. We can spend our lifetime preparing for what will happen one day. Or start to take into consideration that that one day may never come.
Being aware of how fragile the human being is allows me to enjoy what is happening now. I appreciate every hug, good breakfast, smile, inspiring talk, the view of the sea, a new word I’ve just learned.
Life and health are not given for ever. And it’s not given to us to know when they will be gone. I don’t know if it’s possible to prepare ourselves for death. But I know that we can live the way we have no regrets in the final moment.